The Greenco Bidet Fresh Water Spray-- Tip-Top for Your Bottom
Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2016
Okay, so I’ve had an attraction/repulsion relationship with the idea of a bidet for some time, and when the opportunity to try one for a very reasonable price came along, I decided to give it a shot. Worst that happens, I throw it away and have a funny story to horrify the grandkids with, should I ever have grandkids. The unit arrived in good shape, and I familiarized myself with the installation process. I had rigid piping going from the angle valve to the toilet, and could not, for the life of me, figure out how to insert the extra fitting in between without cutting or bending the supply line, probably crimping it in the process, so I bought a replacement flexible supply line. Added a few bucks to the cost, but whatever. Installation took about 45 minutes. (I’m slow, and I kept having to go from the 2nd floor to the basement for more tools.) The hardest part was attaching the provided clear plastic tubing to the supply fitting and to the bidet’s input port. I found that a mug of piping hot water helped a lot—immerse the end of the hose in the water, wait a few minutes for it to soften, the jam it onto the fitting and screw down the connector. Bam! Done. Stupid me, once everything was put back together, I said to myself, I should open that valve and make sure water comes out. It came out all right! Blasted me right in the face! Made a mess on the walls and floor for me to towel up. But I suppose I proved that the water came out when you opened the valve, and stopped when you closed it again. When the time came, as it usually does at some point, to have a little sit and think, once the pinch-off occurred, I slowly reached for that little valve and gingerly opened fire. WOO-HOO-HOOOOOOOO, was that a blast! Lift a bloke right off the seat! And I only got to setting 3 of 5 or so. Played with the deflection lever a bit to get just the right placement, and after a few seconds, shut ‘er down and prepared to do the paperwork. One wad o’ bumwipe dried everything off and I was clean as a whistle and good to go. Well, clean, for certain values of cleanliness, I guess. It’s not like cold water is an antiseptic or disinfectant. But cleaner than I would have been with nothing but paper. My wife is scornful of the purchase, and I can’t really blame her, because I was there not too long ago, but I don’t mind—I think just being able to try it out and see whether it improves my quality of life is worth the nominal investment. If it saves on bumwipe--and it definitely does--that'll make it pay for itself in no time! If the unit lasts for even just a year, it will have been worth the nominal cost, and then I can decide whether to buy a more fancy-pants unit with all the bells and whistles. But Hiram, what about the cold water? Isn't it uncomfortable? I thought it might be, but honestly, no. Apparently, the bum doesn't have nearly as many temperature sensitive nerve endings as the hands or face. A warm water option might be nice, but then you have the issue of how warm to make it, how to get it warm enough before actually shooting the jet at your derriere, how to keep it from getting *too* hot... There are bidets that have a warm water option, so obviously someone has come up with some kind of solution, but I'm here to tell you that I don't think the cold water is particularly unpleasant, even though I went into the purchase thinking it might be. Now, there are a couple minor issues with the unit, but really, nothing worth losing a whole star over. It subtly modifies the geometry of the seat. It makes cleaning the toilet a little more difficult. While installing it, it unexpectedly twisted my fill valve and made the toilet unable to stop filling after a flush, until I realized what was going on and twisted it back. And the plastic supply hose was too long, and should have been cut down, but sizing and cutting it wasn't part of the instructions, and it was hard enough to get it onto the fittings, I'm not about to try to take it off now, cut it, and refit it. And perhaps the biggest issue, there's no interlock requiring a butt to be on the bowl before the water will flow. Which means you have to keep dexterous children and pets away from it. (You may want to keep your older kids away from it too, unless you want to explain to them why you think it's a great idea to have a jet of cold water shot up your whoopsadaisy.) But like I said, none of these individually, nor even in totality, really rises to the annoyance level needed to dock the product a star. I installed this on a Friday morning when I had the day off from work, and used it all weekend. Then on Monday when I was at work, I had to use the company restroom, and was sad that I wasn't at home so I could use my Greenco Power Washer. Greenco made a convert out of me.